One of the greatest challenges in life is to stick to your values when others are acting or speaking in opposition to those values. You can meet challenges like this as one way to strengthen your values. I've thought about this recently, and came up with the following process.
Consider the challenge in light of your values
When your values are challenged, it's time to re-evaluate and reflect on your values. Are your values in need of revision or is this a time to deepen and strengthen your values? As I considered my values, I want to strengthen the following values:
- acknowledging people's accomplishments, needs, challenges, strengths, celebrations, gifts, and talents - looking for the best in people and acknowledging that. We need each other to live good lives--the support and care from others strengthens us and when we are there for others, we have the potential to strengthen then.
- while I think it's okay to share your good news as that can encourage others to do or reach for similar positivity, it's also true that sharing your "good news" can elicit some competitive, unkind actions so you have to consider when you share and when you stay quiet about your good acts and good fortune.
- don't assume you understand what's happening all around you because life holds many secrets. This reality leads to caution with regard to any kind of assumption or judgement. Expect the best from people unless they demonstrate that's not true.
- do what you can when you can to help others.
- be kind to yourself--no one is perfect, and be kind to others too.
- be honest--lying only creates webs of distrust, hurt, and harm
- know your gifts and use your gifts to support and help people and places around you.
- know your challenges, and be realistic about those challenges.
Put some distance between you and those people and places who work against you
At times in life, people and places may work against who we are and what we can be. Put some distance between you and those people and places in order to gain perspective about how to act in those situations.
Do the right thing even when it's difficult
In the end, you'll be happy that you acted in right ways even though in the short term you pay a price for that.
