I woke up thinking about a hurtful situation in my midst. It's a situation I wish were different, but I don't have much power over the situation, and with regard to all of life's events and priorities, this situation holds little value--it's a situation about things, not people, and a situation about a place, not a relationship. For me people and relationships trump objects and places. As I thought about the situation, I thought about why there is value with regard to the objects and place, and I realized it's because those objects and that place represent a significant fraction of my life, and in the best of situations I'd love to revisit to think with others about that life fraction--I would enjoy the opportunity to reminisce and bring closure, but that's not to be.
Why can't that be? First, life patterns did not create a space and possibly value for this. We didn't sit down at the table to discuss our priorities, goals, support for one another, and dreams. If you want that conversation in old age, you need to begin that conversation in the younger years. I suppose you could start such a discussion in old age, but without such a pattern in place, that will be difficult, but not impossible. As I think about this, I am thinking about the patterns that exist for my nuclear family and how I support those patterns into the future.
I also believe that what I wish for is somewhat impossible because a respect for individual lives and directions was not established early. Instead some felt people needed to fit into somewhat tight definitions of who a person should be rather than make the time to truly understand each individual and support their individual journey to becoming who they are meant to be for themselves, others, and the world in general.
I also thought about the objects in my midst and how I care for and think about those objects--what is the value of each object? How do I honor that value? Are there objects in my midst that I no longer need and that I might share with others? How can I continue to simplify my environment in ways that make it welcoming, easy to care for, and useful with regard to building a strong, loving family and friend group as well as personal health and nourishment?
Then I thought about friends who have dealt with similarly painful situations, situations where their dreams were not met and hurtful challenge existed instead. Those friends rose up from these situations with sensitivity, respect, and care--they didn't let situations like this defeat them, but instead they allowed these situations to make them more sensitive, giving, and kind. I learn from their examples.
Onward.
