Growing up, I was not introduced to the ideas of "place" or "boundaries." I thought I belonged to all groups, and never really made the time to recognize the boundaries that existed in my family, community, and society in general. I believe that a clearer understanding of boundaries would have been beneficial to me.
Why didn't I understand the ways that boundaries affect life? First, I was a sixties' child which means I grew up at a time when many in society were working to take down boundaries that divided people by race, gender and political agenda. It was a time of civil rights, women's rights, and anti-war sentiment. To take down boundaries and gain greater freedom was a sentiment shared and modeled by many. I followed their lead.
Yet, discussion and observations related to boundaries would have been beneficial to me. For example, as a working class child, classism did affect my life, and it would have been helpful to explore that in order to navigate that classism well. However, my naïveté in this regard may have been somewhat helpful to me since notions of classism as a teen never really held me back.
Understanding boundaries can be helpful with regard to knowing your place and how to strategically change your place when that's desired. For example, as an educator, I didn't think a lot about boundaries, but to understand the boundaries between and amongst roles would have helped me navigate the school landscape with greater strategy and effective efforts to make good change. My recognition of the classism sometimes at play in schools, however, often helped me to help students more.
Boundaries can be comforting too. In my present role as a public school tutor, my job has a narrow, but important, scope. Sticking to my role's definition helps me to have the time and energy I need to tutor well. As a mom of young adults, I've been cognizant of how my boundaries are changing with my children--parenting adults versus parenting children presents very different boundaries.
Knowing your place with relatives, friends, and neighbors matters too. With every adult, the boundaries are different. For some, you may share lots of intimate information and with others, you share less. Also the kinds of activities you engage in with others will differ from person to person due to interest, abilities, perspective, and more.
Thinking about the boundaries that exist and knowing your place can help you to be more successful in life. This is a topic I want to think more about. Onward.
