We all have falls in life. My first big fall was in fourth grade. I was uncomfortable in a school situation. I spoke up about it, and then I faced a cruel backlash from other students in my class. I was essentially bullied for speaking up. In hindsight, the teacher did not deal with the situation sensitively, but bottom line, the bully acted cruelly. In time, I moved on and learned a valuable lesson about school bullies. I stayed clear of that guy for the rest of my days.
The next big fall was when I lost my cool with my brother and his friends. Their behaviors were greatly impeding my life. I got so angry that I threw a bowl of cottage cheese and pineapple at them. They all laughed at me. I cried, and realized that there was no winning with that group. Again, I kept my distance after that.
Later there was the time when all my friends made the cheerleading team, but I didn't. That brought up my greatest insecurities and self-esteem issues. I moved on and made the CYC team the following year. Cheerleading was never a natural choice for me.
In later life, the greatest fall was when I lost my cool with a well-connected colleague. The reason I was upset had everything to do with good teaching, but my behavior wasn't professional. After a long series of troubling decisions at the school, I finally lost my cool with words (not physical force). In hindsight, as I've noted time and again, I wish I had narrowed my advocacy focus in the school and worked with a good group of like-minded educators to make progress from the start rather than try to change everything on my own. Eventually I did become more strategic and collaborative in this regard.
Lately, I experienced a fall related to my dad's care. I started my care schedule for mom and dad with zest including lots of caregiving time and communication. In time though, the caregiving team's differences of opinion related to what it means to provide good care differed so much that the situation hit a troubling crescendo that greatly affected communication and relationships. As I think back on this troubling series of events, I realize that there have been some positive events as well as the troubling differences.
The positive events include the steady, loving care for my mom while she was alive and my dad now--it's likely that my parents have seen their children and enjoyed good times with them as much or more than most elderly people. That's a positive. The downside, in my opinion, has been the fact that we haven't been able to meet together, discuss the situation, play to our strengths and work together with positivity and support for one another. I truly believe in positive, collaborative efforts in any situation, but I realize that people define "positive collaborative efforts" in a variety of ways. I want to keep an open mind in this situation, do my part, and hopefully contribute to more positive teamwork in time.
Another troubling fall in my midst is the fall of the national government with respect to ethics, honesty, collaboration, positivity and care. Right now too many leaders at the national level are dishonest, greedy, negative, unethical and single-minded. Also, it appears that too many Americans are willingly siding with elected officials who are not acting with the best interests for our country--it appears that many Americans have been manipulated by these short-sighted, selfish leaders. Sadly, these leaders are harming lives every single day as well as siding with international dictators with human rights violations and war crimes. This is very concerning. To combat this fall, I have joined a number of groups that have the expertise and vision to lead us ahead in positive ways. I'm staying abreast of what's going on via reliable sources and trying to be part of a positive solution rather than the devastating harm that a number of greedy, seemingly ignorant, evil leaders are promoting.
A fall is a moment when you essentially move backwards rather than forward in life--it's an event or series of events that brings out the worst in you, worry you, and make you reflect about how to get back up and move ahead again. Fortunately my falls to date have not been that bad thanks to a lot of positive early life mentoring and learning. As a child I was reminded time and again to do the right thing. Taking care of others was a big priority in my home, a priority that my parents modeled regularly as they cared for the children in our home and so many relatives and friends. I heard the grateful responses of my elderly aunts, cousins, and grandparents when my parents would host them for dinner, give them rides, accompany them to special events and more. I was also active in my church and college in ways that provided me with positive service opportunities--these opportunities found me working with others to serve people in meaningful ways. After college, I continued service work with friends and others, and then chose a career in teaching which is human service work. I have always enjoyed caring for others, and I've always been grateful for the care I have received from so many people throughout my life.
So as I think about the falls I've experienced and experience today, I recognize that falls, in part, are often the result of not-knowing what to do or how to do it. Falls are also the result of emotional bursts, worry, and anxiety. And, falls can be the fault of evil doers who purposely create harmful, hurtful situations. In ways that I can, when falls hit, I'll do my best to learn as much as I can and get back up to move in a positive direction. Onward.
