What is the good life? How do you create and support the good life for self and others? This has been a perennial question for me, and a question I think about and write about often.
I wonder why I'm fixated on this question. I think it's because the life I desired since my earliest days has been a life that was different in many ways from the life I had--I always wanted something different.
While I loved so much about my childhood home and family, I didn't like the chaos that existed. I desired more order, rules and respect. Put-down language and ridicule hurt a lot. The fact that much of what I loved and wanted to engage in was not embraced or acknowledged hurt. Who was I? What did I want as a young child? What needs were met and what needs were dismissed?
The greatest challenge was the fact that my physicality was ridiculed constantly as a child--I didn't fit my parents' desire with respect to my body, and they reminded me of that all the time. Also, my interests in the arts, theater, and ideas were rarely taken seriously--no one spent much time acknowledging or supporting those desires. No parents can nurture all parts of their children. I realize that, and there were areas of life that were greatly nurtured and affirmed. I always loved caring for children and I was given lots of kudos and opportunity to develop that interest and skill. I also enjoyed family adventures, nature, school and celebrations, and had great opportunity to develop those interests. In too many ways, my needs, feelings, questions, and desires were not taken seriously, and I write about that today because that level of disrespect was carried on by siblings who witnessed those reactions to me.
As a mom myself, I know it's impossible to support all aspects of your children as our knowledge and abilities are limited. That's why I support the village model of raising children, a model that acknowledges it takes a village to care for and nurture children well. Fortunately as I raised my children, I was part of multiple communities that cared for and supported children with wonderful positive energy, skill, and outreach. My children were fortunate to have wonderful caregivers, doctors, teachers, coaches, friends, friends' families, and so many more community members who cared for them. I am grateful for that.
So as I think of my quest for the good life, that quest, in part, came from my desire to be accepted, acknowledged, and happy with who I am, what I want to do, and how I can be a positive member of the communities I belong to.
Also as I sought my life, I had to think a lot about who I am and what it is I could do to live a good life for self and others. That aim has led my life and still leads my life.
As I think of that today, this list of actions will support who I am and how I can contribute to a good life for self and others.
- warm, welcoming, simple home
- positive political action to support the kind of leadership and action that supports good living for ALL
- continued learning
- positive, polite language
- acceptance of the diverse, positive ways people live and love
- helping others as I can
- honesty
- support
- self-respect and respect for others
- surrounding myself with positive, good people, events, and actions
