I watched my mom's relationship with her sister change over the years. When I was very young, we visited my mom's sister, Aunt Betty, almost every week. I always looked forward to those visits since I really loved Aunt Betty, Uncle Bob and their children. As time moved on, our visits were less frequent due to our own busy lives and size of both families. We were a family of six and Betty had nine children. Mom's relationship with Betty eventually became mostly an adult couple's relationship where Betty, Bob, Mom and Dad got together often to play cards, go out to dinner, golf, travel and more. Just before both Betty and Mom passed away, their friendship included less frequent visits for lunch accompanied by one or more of their children. Betty and Mom enjoyed a long sisterly relationship that went through many changes over the years.
I'm reminded of this as I consider the many relationships in my life and the way those relationships continually change to accommodate work, family, health, interests and more.
As I think of relationship changes, I'm thinking of the constants that are the most important in any relationship. Those constants include the following:
- Respect: As friends and family go through changes, respect needs to be a constant
- No Judging: It's important not to judge the many decisions people make as relationships change since you mostly can't understand what it's like to be another person--you don't walk in their shoes
- Space: It's also important to give people the space they need as life changes
- Independence: We all require a degree of independence to live our good lives
- Support: When possible and when needed, help one another out
