At times in life, whole groups may turn on you. What do you do when that happens? I remember a time when that happened long ago. I had just had a baby. Most of the people in the group did not have children. It was clearly a fork in the road where my life was taking a different path than that of the group. I expected things from the group that they were unable and uninterested in providing. Similarly, the group expected things of me that I could not deliver. In hindsight, it was a time for revision--a time to recognize that fork in the road, but instead I was somewhat defeated by what I saw as abandonment by the group. I know better now.
When your life takes a dramatic turn, you may find that you become distanced from groups that were once a mainstay in your life. That's a signal for reflection and revision. Lately I had another somewhat dramatic turn in the road of life that distanced me from a close group. The group simply didn't understand my decisions and needs. I probably didn't fully understand where they were at too. How will I revise?
With revision, comes these life areas: communication, time together, shared events, and expectations.
Communication
Familiar topics of old may be taken off the table with revision as what was once common speak may be more sensitive now. Also old time familiarity may be replaced with more thoughtful, formal speak to respect new boundaries. Frequency may change too due to people's personal schedule and needs.
Time together
Due to life's changes, the frequency of visits and time together may become less. Also, you may become more thoughtful about how you plan the time together to accommodate new needs and interests.
Shared events
You may not have the time, resources, or will for shared events. Instead you may rely on events that are planned for you so no one has that responsibility or you may take turns planning events.
Expectations
You probably will have to adjust your expectations to match the new reality given the changes in your midst.
Rather than "turn on you" it's more probable that the landscape of your relationship has changed, and there needs to be reflection and revision to make peaceful adjustments. Onward.
