Over time, I've lost a few good relationships. What happened? Why did that happen?
It's natural for relationships to change over time. Some relationships deepen and others weaken. Change in relationships depend on many, many factors.
Location
It's often far easier to stay close to someone who lives near you, however sometimes proximity is what causes the rift in a relationship whereas distance can provide needed understanding and acceptance. Whatever the case, location plays a role in relationships, and if you want to be very close to someone, it's best to live nearby and create good, positive patterns of connection within that close proximity.
Interests
Time is limited in life, and it's difficult to keep a close relationship if your interests in life differ substantially. Usually it's easier to stay close to people who share your interests.
Envy
Envy can quickly destroy a relationship. For example, if a friend has something you desire or need, you may become jealous and that jealousy can ruin a relationship. On the other hand, if you have something that someone close to you wants, that also can ruin a relationship. Good friends share their wealth of experience, wealth, and opportunity, and if you want to strengthen a relationship despite your differences, you'll recognize that your friends can broaden your experience of life by sharing items, interests, and lifestyles that you may not have. Rather than be jealous, it's best to realize that our differences provide an avenue to a richer, more interesting life--no one can be all things, experience all things or have all things.
Responsibility
Some people's level of responsibility can make friendship difficult simply because these people don't have the time to nurture many relationships--they have too much on their plate. You can stay in touch with these people and be there for them, if they need you, but you can't expect too much as these people are very, very busy.
Hurt
People sometimes hurt one another knowingly or unknowingly. I think it's best to kindly discuss those hurts and move ahead of the pain. Some are able and willing to do this and others are not.
Judgement
Judgement harms relationships. When we judge each other too harshly or too much that doesn't leave good space for warm relationships.
Poor manners
Poor manners can hinder good relationships. If you're a poor listener, people won't want to be around you. Similarly if you don't follow the rules of good connection, you will likely have less positive relationships. Rules of reciprocity, polite language, kindness, acknowledgement, and care play a significant role when it comes to building strong relationships.
Space
Giving one another the space they need to live and work as they desire and need to do is essential to good relationship building. Suffocating each other doesn't work well with regard to positive relationships.
As I look back on relationships I've lost over time, I can point to one or more of the areas above as the reason for the relationship change, and in some cases, loss. Relationship nurturing takes intention, and with good intention, we can sustain positive, meaningful, loving relationships in life. Onward.
