As an employee, I was sometimes rejected for what I believed was an ethical decision. I thought about that today as one of the rejectors was brought back into my sphere. Was I truly ethical in the situation? I still believe that I was, but I would have been open to conversation about the matter, and if I erred, I would have been open to transparency and education with regard to the situation.
The situation basically involved me speaking up and being rejected for speaking up. The others involved just wanted to go along, not make a fuss, and keep things status quo. I felt that the status quo was not ethical so I spoke up. It seemed like some, who perhaps had a long history of simply following male leaders because they were men, just went along with unethical policies. In some cases, I do think people were choosing their battles, but they could have discussed that with me and helped to educate me with their experience and focus, but instead they found my advocacy to be bothersome and excessive, and they demonstrated that by rejecting me from their clubs or groups. I also believe that some may have resented me simply because my generation had more rights as women than their generation, and their lack of rights in some cases translated into some financial, family, and social stresses that should not have occurred--they should have had more rights as women in the workplace.
My greatest mistake was trusting too many to be supportive when, in reality, they did not understand me or support me, and in some cases, may have worked against me. In most cases, I had a different kind of upbringing than those who rejected me--the rejectors were raised with far more privilege than me, and had a lot more handed to them than me. They really didn't understand where I was coming from and didn't make the time to understand that.
I admit I didn't have the savvy, experience, support, or knowledge to effectively make the changes I hoped to make. I did make some changes and for that I'm proud.
It is right to work and speak up ethically, and it is also right to hone your change-skills, skills that help you to respectfully, inclusively, and honestly work for positive change and development. As much as possible, we have to distance ourselves from those who don't work ethically or support ethical colleagues or work endeavor. Onward.
