As I continue to contribute to the care of a loved one with Alzheimer's, I find myself needing to coach myself with greater positivity and skill. The caregiving has become more demanding and less predictable. The caregiving has also passed from confidence and ease to greater challenge and unease due to the level and depth of care required. Truly, the caregiving demands are almost too much for any one person to handle given the fact that caregiving greatly impacts peace of mind, need for sleep, and liberty. It's a 24-7 job now that requires considerable nursing skill and personal care support.
On the positive side of this challenge is the fact that I share this caregiving with a large group of family members and hired, skilled caregivers. I'm not alone in this--everyone is sharing in the task which does make it more doable.
So how will I positively deal with this care challenge.
First, I want to remind myself of the great sacrifice and care my loved one showed me throughout life. My loved one deserves good care as he has been a loving, caring family member throughout his life. He also deserves good care simply because he is a human being, and all human beings deserve loving, good care throughout their lives. I don't want to lose sight of this.
Next, I want to remind myself that I'm not superhuman, and with that in mind, I have to prioritize what's most important with regard to this care, and what's most important is simple, loving, safe care that allows my loved one to be comfortable and happy. Fortunately he's a positive person so it's not difficult to make him happy with a menu of good food, a simple schedule, entertaining movies, rides and simple walks in nature, and personal care that leaves an individual feeling good.
And, I want to realize that caring for a person with Alzheimer's demands that you get a break now and then--the constant, repetitive questioning and confusion can really stress caregivers out, but taking a short break now and then during the care process can help.
Further, caring for my loved one is a good time to catch up on simple at-home tasks including cleaning, grocery shopping, small repairs, organization, and more. My loved one can sometimes help with these tasks, and completing the tasks leaves me with a sense of satisfaction.
What I don't want to do is give in to activities that may provide quick comfort, but in the long run make me feel gross. For example, sometimes I'm apt to overeat during these care sessions just to quell the stress I feel at seeing my loved one so changed from his old-time self. I don't want to give into behaviors like that as those behaviors do no one any good.
Every time it's my turn to care, I learn something new. My planning never goes exactly as planned, but in general, if I do make the time to think about the care ahead of the weekend, the caregiving is better and more satisfying for me, family members joining me in the care, and my loved one too. Onward.
