Honestly while I have had my fair share of challenges in life, I've been in the midst of lots of joy too. One positive aspect of choosing a teaching career and parenting is that you will be surrounded by a fair share of joy since children by nature bring a lot of joy to life.
There are times in life when you have to think more deeply and intentionally about choosing and creating joy. I thought of this yesterday as a family member made a dramatic move. The choices for my family member who suffers from dementia were limited since he had trouble distinguishing between day and night as well as making good choices about his safety. For a long time, many people contributed to a patchwork schedule of care, but the patchwork quilt was proving inadequate lately so new choices had to be made; choices that ensured safety as well as joy.
Decisions were made, and my family member wasn't too happy. The dementia makes any reasoning difficult too. So with a less than perfect choice in a less than perfect situation, how can we bring the joy? What can we do?
I thought about the ways that others have dealt with situations like this since I know many people who are currently facing or have faced similar situations. In every situation I know of, the situations are both the same and different in a variety of ways. One aspect of dementia is that dementia presents itself in significantly different ways for every person. While there are some standard same kinds of symptoms, the symptoms specifically differ in significant ways, ways that impact safety and joy. So caring for an individual with dementia is not a one-size-fits-all affair since you have to consider the specific symptoms a person presents as well as the person's personality too. And every care team differs too. Some care teams include lots of people, and some include only one or a few. Some care teams have lots of money while others have less. Some care teams are older while others are younger. There's a lot of differentiation which affects the decisions made too.
In my loved one's situation, the good news is that everyone wants the best for my loved one, and no one makes decisions without good intention, thought, and care. So now that a decision has been made, it's up to us to bring as much positivity and support to the decision as we can. It's difficult to know what the next steps will bring, but in the meantime, I hope to get guidance from the experts in the situation and I hope to dedicate a fair amount of time and attention to my loved one.
I'm also thinking about my own longevity as I face this situation. What would I want? How do I want to react? From looking around, I've realized that the end stages of life are rarely easy. If you live a long life, you usually face a very humbling end of life with your fair share of illness and compromises. I've watched many older relatives and friends live long lives, and their final chapters have been compromising with regard to the places where they live, the people that care for them, and their limitations with regard to what they want to do and can do.
I want to think more about this stage of life for my loved one and in general with the framework of what it means to bring joy and create joy. Onward.
