Life has changed a lot throughout my years; and life has stayed the same too. With each holiday, I think about that. I think about the people who have passed away including my mom, brother Paul, aunts and uncles, cousins, and classmates. I also think about people who were once close to me who are now distant. I think about traditions past and new traditions too which signal changing times; and I think about the many new people who have become part of my life as friends and family members.
As I've mentioned often, I have trouble letting go yet I almost always enjoy meeting new people and engaging in new endeavors. I want all of life to stay the same and change too which as we all know is impossible. So how does one react to the ever changing nature of life? How do we gracefully acknowledge, yet say goodbye to the past while positively embracing the new people and chapters in our lives?
Pay it forward
As for the past, I think we need bring forward the best of the past. For example, my mom always hosted friends and family at our home. She enjoyed bringing people together, and with her siblings, created a strong family culture. With my family members, I want to bring my mom's devotion to family and friends forward via shared meals, home baked cookies, being there for one another when it matters, and acknowledging people's special celebrations and accomplishments.
I also want to bring forward my dad's great love of nature and his spirit of outdoor adventure. That's a gift my dad gave to all of our family members and friends, and a gift worth bringing forward with our annual mountain hiking weekend, bike rides, family hikes, beach trips and more.
My mother-in-law Jeanne, like my mom, was devoted to bringing people together with delicious foods, a warm, welcoming home, and a talent at decorating, fine art painting, gardening, and crafts. Jeanne could make almost anything look beautiful. With my husband's help, I want to bring that forward; and similar to Jeanne and my Papa Pratt, I want to bring forth their love and devotion to gardening.
My nana Pratt loved to read, and I want to pay that forward by helping my grandson love to read via reading him many books; and my Grampy Lucey loved babies and was always good to children. When I rock my grandson, I always think of Grampy and the fact that he always was ready to rock and cradle every new baby in the family. I've learned a lot about Nana Lucey from my family history research, and I've realized that it was her devotion to family, in a large part, that kept a strong culture going in the Lucey family over time--a spirit that she likely inherited from her mom, dad, and her mom's very large and very close family.
So rather than lament the losses from the past, I want to think about the beauty and strength of the good times and traditions, and bring those forward into my life and the life of my children and grandchildren.
Re-make the not so good patterns of the past
We can all look back at life and think of times and traditions that were not so good. One tradition from the past that I don't want to bring forward is the way that people were restricted by gender, age, class, religion, skin shade, or cultural group when it came to who they were and wanted to be. For example, when I was young, girls were often not encouraged to enter many fields -- in many families, girls were only encouraged to find a husband and have a family without consideration of their talents, intellect, and capabilities beyond that. While I always wanted to marry and have a family, I had many other dreams that were not taken seriously at home or work simply because I was a girl. That's an old mindset, I want to remake by seeing each individual as an individual with a unique set of talents, interests, hopes, and dreams. I don't want to restrict who people are or who they desire to be.
I also don't like the way some people equate wealth with intellect, talent, and success. While it's often true that people who make a lot of money have significant talent, intellect, and success; yet it's also true that people without a lot of money have significant talent, intellect, and success. I don't like equating wealth or position with people's value, but instead believe that a person's value is equal to the way they use their talents, energy, time, and resources. Those that live good lives for self and others are the people with intellect, talent, and success; and those that do not use their energy, time, and talents for betterment of self, others, or society, in my definition, are not successful, and even worse, are often those that hurt and harm humanity and the world.
In the past, people who sought help for their problems were often looked down upon, but today, we know that to seek help is a sign of intelligence and positivity. I want to re-make attitudes towards getting help; and instead positively support as many avenues towards betterment as possible in society.
In the past, and sadly, still today, people saw violence and war as a solution. More and more today, we realize that war and violence only exacerbate problems while diplomacy saves lives and communities. We waste so many resources on violence and wars; resources that could be used to improve society and people's lives while protecting our needed natural resources and creating a healthy planet for all.
There are so many outdated life ways and attitudes that still persist today, and I want to retire those hurtful, harmful life ways and attitudes, and replace them with more positive ways of being.
Be open minded
Making time to be with people of different ages and people that are in different groups than you, helps you to have an open mind. Looking for these opportunities and taking part in endeavors that open your mind to the great and wonderful diversity of lifestyles, interests, and people is positive.
Do your part
None of us can be all things, and all of us are incomplete in so many ways. Yet, we all have something to offer, and finding where we fit in and what we can do brings joy and promise not only to your own life, but to the lives of those you support and help too. I'm always amazed at the good work so many people do in society. We hear far too much about the greedy, evil, deadly self-servers in society and not enough about the many, many people who dedicate their lives to helping others in all kinds of ways.
Speak up and act against agents and actions that harm culture
Our collective culture depends on all of us. Just recently a group of people won a law suit against social media platforms that target young people. This was a positive step in caring for culture--those ultra-wealthy social media platforms have the money and talent to safeguard our youth from harmful social media contact and outreach, and they clearly have not done enough to do that. These same social media companies have the talent to prevent their platforms from posting lies and false, dishonest information that harm all people of every age. There should be laws that hold them accountable for that since those lies and false information cost people time, money, good health, and sometimes their lives.
There are cultural activities that greatly harm people. For example, the Epstein crime network lasted for years because people in power protected Epstein and engaged with him in criminal, abusive behaviors. If those in power who protected Epstein had stood up for the young lives he greatly harmed, many would not have suffered. If people had stood up against his other criminal acts, those acts would not have led to the corruption that has cost countries around the world a great deal of money and positivity. The saying that came from the horrible Newtown massacre, "See something, say something," is powerful. Don't stay silent, as soon as harm is viewed speak up, get help, and change the course from harmful to helpful.
Right now, there is a war against scientific evidence and endeavors that help people to live longer, healthier lives. This is criminal, and we all need to find ways to support the scientific work that helps all of us. The backwards, ignorant, selfish nature of the current Trump administrative team is putting too many people at risk. One clear example is the anti-vaccine sentiment and supports that have led to an increase in measles across the country--an increase that has resulted in an uptick of related deaths for a disease that was all but eradicated in the USA before this anti-vaccine/anti-science marketing campaign by Trump's ignorant, self-serving administration.
Sadly and similarly, the efforts to work against green energy and environmental protection efforts in the United States are also putting our collective health and welfare at risk. This, like the anti-vaccine movements, are clearly dumb and damaging for all of our lives. We have to speak up against this and turn the tide toward protecting our amazing resources and working to increase clean energy too.
There's much to do when it comes to building a strong, positive culture that supports good living for all. There have been amazing strides in this effort over time, but lately, there has been a giant and damaging back step by an ignorant, greedy, self-serving administration and their supporters that lack vision, intelligence, or a will to build a good culture for all.
We can do better.
Good culture depends on all of us, and when we work to build a positive culture, we are all able to thrive in positive, productive, life-enriching ways. Onward.
