I enjoy the replay of almost any life event because the replay sheds important details on a situation. As an educator, I often filmed my students when they were engaged in project work. Later, I would study the film to see the situation with greater detail. That replay and review helped me to teach with greater focus and success.
I find myself replaying the care situation that resulted in a hospital visit for a loved one recently. My loved one, unable to accurately express what he was feeling, was sent by ambulance to the hospital. Later we learned he had a significant infection that required a heavy dose of antibiotics to clear up. The infection created a lot of havoc for my loved one and others, and as I replay the situation, I realize that there may have been ways to avoid this troubling hospital visit.
My loved one demonstrated some unusual behaviors. I mentioned that he may have an infection and the care facility said they would check on that. Later, I asked if they had checked and they said they had not checked. That's when I made a mistake. I should have been more assertive and asked why they didn't check and when they planned to check. Instead I let it go not realizing how dangerous an infection could be. If I had realized, I would have brought my loved one to an urgent care for diagnosis. Instead I trusted the judgement of the care facility. Now I'm wondering why they didn't check when they likely knew that an infection like this can cause dramatic medical needs and health jeopardy. If they work with elderly folks all the time, they would certainly know this information, information I didn't understand fully. Once again, a lesson that I find myself learning often in life which is to follow your instincts, trust yourself, and if events unravel in ways that seem wrong or troubling, speak up sooner than later.
Sometimes errors are met with luck and situations don't unravel like my loved one's situation did. In this case, however, the almost worst case scenario occurred--my loved one became seriously ill, and now we are contemplating next steps with the help of hospital staff and others.
What did I learn from this replay and how can I apply that learning to situations to come. As noted, I learned to trust your instincts and not leave life up to chance. I also learned not to expect services or people that are not clearly explained, outlined, and relayed. In hindsight, I should have been more assertive.
My loved one is clearly confused by the situation--he appears to want to blame loved ones for his situation. I have to realize that is part of his illness, and that in his confusion, he won't be able to manage his care or understand his illness. He's relying on others to care for him well, and so far he has received good care. I'll do what I can to care for my loved one and advocate for his best care in the days ahead. It's a tough situation, one I didn't anticipate and one that I don't have much experience with. I'll pray on the matter, and lend the kinds of support that I am able to provide. Onward.
