It's been years that I've been navigating life with a loved one who has Alzheimer's. People have all kinds of names for this disease and one that seems to fit is the "long goodbye" since with Alzheimer's people lose their memory and understanding over time.
The journey began with minor memory losses, and during this stage life didn't change very much. As memory weakened, we found many activities that still brought lots of joy in life. Now, however, at this late stage in the disease, it's tougher. The almost complete lack of understanding the where, when, what, why, or who of life makes conversation and shared events almost impossible. At this point, the goal of comfort and care is paramount, and that goal means making some shifts in expectations and planning.
For example, sundowning is more pronounced now, and to visit during the sundowning stage is often more upsetting than comforting since a simple visit appears to awaken the memory just enough to cause confusion and agitation. Also, as noted in previous posts, at this stage care has a lot to do with ADL's - the Adult Daily Living activities that maintain a person's comfort and health.
Further, it's a time of medicine changes too since sometimes the only thing that will calm a person with late stage Alzheimer's down and keep them safe is a calming medication.
I've talked to many people recently who have loved ones with late stage Alzheimer's. They've all admitted that it's a tough disease and a particularly tough stage of the disease since there's no easy answers when it comes to good care. So with this in mind, I'll make the switch to manageable visits and seek what comforts my loved one during those visits. Onward.
