Some situations in life are trying and there's no clear direction no matter how many ways that you look at the landscape of the situation. When this happens I try to look back at similar situations and think about how the people involved, including me, reacted.
Long ago, I was in a couple similar situations. And in both cases, since I was not tied as close to the situation, I essentially escaped the situation. After trying to impact the situation in some ways, I eventually gave up and moved on.
I don't want to do this in the current situation since I am more closely tied to every aspect of the situation, and I want to do the best I can for my loved one. What does this look like in this situation?
First, my loved one's care needs are extensive--more than any one human can realistically handle since to care well for my loved one is a 24-7 job.
Next, my loved one's capacity to understand what's happening is compromised given his condition. He mostly can't help himself.
Further, it's a team effort and I am only one small part of the team--there are many differing philosophies, schedules, outlooks, attitudes and levels of awareness and availability on the team.
Finally, it's a heartbreaking situation that tears at you emotionally--you want to do it all, be it all, and you simply can't be that. You have to do what you can and the let life take it's course.
So with all this in mind, what will my course of action be?
As I've noted before, I'll try to strike the balance of good care for my loved one and other loved ones too as well as the needed self-care to do what I can.
What does this look like?
It looks like positive visits, making the environment more warm and welcoming, outings, encouragement, and the care I can provide.
I guess that the upside of this compromising situation is that it makes me more sensitive to the compromising situations that others face in life's many arenas. Onward.
