The plans are in place to pay respects to my dad's good life. Since his illness provided a long goodbye, there was plenty of time in the past few years to think about Dad's impact on my life, and the legacy he's left.
I learned a lot throughout this journey. First, I am grateful for the time I had with dad during the past six years. We spent a lot of time together sharing stories, meals, and simple adventures in beautiful places. During that time I learned a lot about my dad's life, and I thought a lot about his impact on my life. I also made peace with the natural issues that any parent and child may face over time, and finding peace with those issues has informed my own parenting and relationships in meaningful ways.
I learned that when we face tough situations, it's important to both do our best and reach out for support. So many good friends and family members helped me as I navigated my dad's illness and struggles during the past six years. I could not have navigated this chapter of life as well if I didn't have that help. I am so grateful for those who listened, offered counsel, and supported my dad, me, and my family in any way during this challenging chapter. What made the chapter so challenging was that there are many varying viewpoints about best care for life's last chapters and there's still a lot to learn about dementia and Alzheimer's with regard to best care and support. I hope I can be helpful to others who navigate similar challenges in the days ahead.
I learned a lot about relationships too. I especially learned that we have to be cognizant of the many perspectives that are in place for any situation. People simply don't see things exactly the same way for all kinds of reasons related to their life experiences, hopes, dreams, and capacities.
Further, I learned that I want to be as responsible and orderly as possible when it comes to my life. I want to leave my children with as simple a situation as possible when it comes to my care in the later years--I don't want to leave them with big challenges if possible.
Now as I move into the ceremonies and events to pay respects to my dad's good life and beyond, I'm thinking about where I want to put my energy and efforts.
As always, I want to maintain a warm, welcoming home as much as possible. That means continuing to keep up with countless house and garden chores and projects. As every home owner knows, a home is a lifelong project.
I also want to continue to enjoy good times and adventures with family and friends, and I want to make time to contribute to my family and greater community in ways that I can.
The best I can do for my dad now is to live a good life that would make him proud, and a life that models the good traits he brought to the lives of others and me. Onward.
