I wanted to get the series of events straight in my mind related to Dad's death. Basically our family of five siblings cared for Mom and Dad over a good 7-8 years beginning just before COVID until Dad's recent death on June 14th, 2026.
Everyone wanted the best for dad, and everyone had a variety of viewpoints with regard to what "best" meant with regard to a dementia/Alzheimer's care, care that is in many ways a novel path with regard to medicine and medical care because there's still lots to know with regard to these diseases. Plus my siblings and I all have somewhat different lives, obligations, interests, and more. The upside of that variation is that Dad had many varying activities in his last five years including lots of walks, talks, shared meals, celebrations, house jobs, and more. His life was not dull, but typically full of activity.
If I had to walk this road again, I would emphasize positive communication, teamwork, seeking the expert help/caregiving you need, making time for your own health, and as much positivity as possible.
The final weeks were tough since it was difficult to know what was best given his medical needs, no clear medical direction for care, and his own inability to clearly communicate his needs. Thankfully we were surrounded by skilled caregivers who helped and we had plenty of time to provide dad with loving connection and communication.
I'm sure I'll return to this post as I think more about this as I want to have a clear understanding of this episode of life so when I face a similar chapter again, I'll be ready.
The series of caregiving events included all kinds of twists and turns. Some of the significant turns for me included these:
- early signs of dementia, care needs
- sibling's alert that Mom and Dad needed more care
- retirement, added days for care
- COVID outbreak
- Mom's stroke - February 15, 2021
- Mom's rehab stay and resulting hospice care
- Mom's retirement from hospice
- Mom's caregivers, extensive needs, Dad's care of mom, Mom's death
- Dad's energy after Mom's death--lots of walks, lunches, celebrations
- Dad doesn't drive anymore
- Efforts to help Dad with medical interventions via Mass Med and VA
- Dad's many caregivers and caregiver schedules
- Dad's changing care needs/doctor-hospital visits
- Dad's wandering, inability to care for self, move to get 24-7 help, hospital visits, death
- During COVID Dad showed early signs of Alzheimer's--mild signs that did not affect life greatly. That was 2020.
- May 2019: Mom and Dad got to Megan and Ryan's for brunch
- August 2019: Mom's 89th Birthday party in Framingham
- Christmas 2019: Karaoke at Christmas in Framingham--Mom and Dad there. Mom liked the music
- Christmas 2020: COVID Christmas
- February 2021: Mom and Dad get COVID shots
- April 2021: Easter in Worcester--many people still wearing masks, we stayed outdoors mostly
- September 2021: We visit Betty in NH with Mom and Dad
- October 2021: Betty and Sharon visit Mom in Worcester; Ryan and Megan get married--Dad opts not to go because Mom was so ill and could not go
- April 2022: Family meets in Worcester with Mom and Dad
- June 2022: Family Father's Day gatherings at Mom and Dad's House with extended family
- October 2022: When Mom died, Dad had a burst of energy since he had spent several years dedicated to Mom's care which had become quite extensive. That was fall of 2022. Dad then began walking three miles and going out to lunch. He was driving at the time too.
- November 202: Dad and Ryan hike with Barley on West Boylston rail trail
- December 2022: Dad skates in Boston as part of Pete's holiday party
- May 2023: Dad goes to Michaela's graduation luncheon, we drive to Maine for Mr. Gorrill's funeral, run in York for Chrissy's 60th birthday--Dad joins us
- July 2023: Dad goes to Cape Cod for Family Meet-Up, Quabbin with Sean and Me
- August 2023: Dad goes to White Mountains with the family - his last trip to the The White's
- November 2023: Dad, Christine Lucey-Meagher, and I visit Sharon and her new grandchild in NH
- Christmas 2023: Dad joins family at Maureen's
- January 2024: Dad helps us shovel out in Framingham
- April 2024: Lunch at The Old Mill; Easter at Peter's
- August 2024: Trip to Quabbin and Salem Cross Inn for lunch
- September 2024: Dad went to Liz's wedding
- October 2024: Dad and I were taking many nice walks
- February 2025: We had a nice birthday lunch with Sharon in New Hampshire for Dad's birthday.
- October 2025: Dad meets Damon who was born on 10/19/25
- November 2025 Hamburgers with Dad in Sudbury
- Thanksgiving 2025: Dad comes to Framingham for Thanksgiving
- Christmas 2025: Dad joins family at Maureen's, Dad goes to Pratt Christmas party
- Dad begins to wander more, when I take him to visit in March, he is disgruntled and out of sorts, later we learn he has an infection.
- April 2026 Dad moves to Sunrise
- Easter 2026: Dad comes to Framingham for Easter
- Dad lands in hospital for infection - Sunday, April 26 - spends about two weeks in hospital
- Dad goes to rehab about two weeks later in and around May 12
- Dad goes to hospital again - I think it was Tuesday, June 9
- Dad starts hospice - Saturday, June 13th
- Dad dies in the afternoon of June 14th, 2026
