One's life has many chapters, and during or at the end of those chapters it's always important to reflect on the chapter's high points, low points, and lessons.
Teaching
I was moved recently to reflect on my teaching chapter of life. That chapter began early when I was a child because I loved to teach and imagined myself as a teacher even when I was a little girl. I loved teaching my younger brothers and sister; I volunteered to "teach" at the parish nursery, Children's Hospital, CCD, Big Sister, and via a few other organizations, and then I studied to become a teacher.
My teaching career was marked with highs, lows, and in-betweens. I found the complexity of the school environment tough since as one person described a school is like a little city, and that little city is crammed into a small space with many people doing all kinds of jobs that require a lot of decision making and coordination. Looking back, I was unprepared for that social-emotional complexity, and most of my mistakes as an educator fell into that arena. I wasn't prepared for the cliques, the secrets, the poor communication, the leadership patterns, the time and place crunch, and the differing values that existed. In hindsight, I wish I had recognized that complexity and made some important professional decisions including prioritizing one or two bigger issues that I would get involved in rather than almost every big issue. I wish I realized that in a professional organization you can't be everyone's friend and you can't take part in every initiative, instead you have to treat every member of the organization professionally. I also wish I realized that work environments are competitive environments, and you can't trust too freely or quickly. Instead it's best to keep most of your private life to yourself and not so readily volunteer your time, thoughts, or ideas. In other words, I wish I managed the environment better in a more professional, measured, thoughtful way. My expectations of the teaching/learning environment didn't match up to the reality, and I would have been much better recognizing and understanding the reality of the environment than thinking the environment was something that it wasn't.
The best part of my teaching career was the actual teaching. I enjoyed thinking and learning about how each child learned, and using that knowledge to craft and carry out best possible lessons. In general, my students did well in my classrooms, and for that I am happy and proud.
Also, I wish I understood more about how your personal story affects your teaching work. I carried into teaching some struggles I had from childhood, and when students or parents ignited those struggles, I struggled with the students and families. Fortunately this didn't happen often, but on a few occasions, I was met with situations that greatly ignited anxiety and anger. In those situations, parents did not accept and support the child they had. Those parents had unreasonable expectations for the children, and that was an issue that really caused me to get angry and to worry. Later I sought some counseling with regard to this issue and I was able to tease it out and get a handle on it. It's good for teachers to know themselves well and to work on personal issues that might affect their classroom or school performance since teaching is a career that touches upon your most personal story.
If I had to do it over again, I would likely choose education once again as my career path, but I might chose an area of education where I had fewer students or clients, more leadership support, and a much less complex teaching/learning environment, perhaps a teaching/learning environment that was more cohesive and positively connected with less cliques, less top-down leadership, and more collaborative teamwork.
Parenting/Partnering
This chapter has been more positive than teaching and that, in a large part, is due to the fact that I had great mentors in my life for positive parenting and partnering. That mentorship has played a big role in my life with regard to being a good parent and partner. In teaching, I found that my colleagues who came from teaching families, definitely were much better able to navigate the complex teaching/learning environment than me. Late in my career, I had the chance to work with teachers from teaching families, and I learned a lot from them and had some of the best teaming experiences of my career.
The only aspect of parenting/partnering I would change in my life is that I would slow things down and focus on the positives even more. There were times in my early parenting life that I was simply too busy and sometimes too worried about issues that were less important than other issues, but in general, I put my family first and I'm happy that I did that.
Neighboring
I was such a busy parent, partner, and teacher, that I sometimes was unable to be the neighbor I wanted to be. In general, I sometimes promised more than I could do which resulted in less than satisfying neighborly relationships. In later years, I learned more about my limitations in that regard. Also at play with regard to neighboring when I was young was the difference between stay-at-home parents and working parents. As a working parent, I was unable to completely understand or coordinate with stay-at-home parents. That difference doesn't seem to exist as much today since almost all parents work where I live. In general though, we've been good neighbors and we're there to support our neighbors as we can, and that's important.
Friendships
I was so busy in my early life that I didn't think much about friendships. As a young person, I had some good friends in the neighborhood. That was quite natural and I didn't think much about it. I had friends at school, but not that many since I was busy at school and worked every day after school so there wasn't a lot of time to nurture new friendships. I went to a college where the students were a lot like me and friendships were quite natural in that environment. I carried those friendships and my childhood friendships into adulthood. When I became a busy working mom, friendships took a hit since I was so, so, so busy--there was little time for anything but family and work. Now in my older age with adult children, the window has opened up for better friendships, but the landscape has changed a lot due to all kinds of factors including health, distance, family expectations, and more. It's a time of rebuilding some old friendships and making new friendships. I'm learning a lot about friendship at this stage, learning that is resulting in some good times with friends.
Extended family
Similar to partnering and parenting, I grew up with a family that appreciated and supported the extended family. I have a very large extended family, and I love them all. I have many closer and supportive relationships amongst my extended family and that's a high point in my life.
Hobbies, work, contribution, chores
There is much that I love to do in life. I love to garden, bike, go to the beach, enjoy beautiful natural settings, cook, entertain, take care of my home and yard, travel, read, play games, and so much more. I feel fortunate to have so many interests and I share those interests with many friends and family members. In general, my interests don't cost a lot and are healthy. This is another positive aspect of life.
School
I was almost always comfortable in any education environment since I enjoyed learning and was competent at learning. In some ways that comfort level was a detriment because when I had to navigate non-school worlds, I wasn't as ready for the challenge as some who found school more challenging -- they were more used to navigating less comfortable environments.
Summary
No one lives a perfect life, and I believe that we can all look back on chapters in our lives that are more positive than others. It's interesting to notice how important mentoring is when it comes to good living. While there were many bright spots in my teaching career, I would have profited from having strong mentors to guide me in the profession. I did profit from having many strong mentors with regard to parenting, partnering, and many of my interests and hobbies. The good teachers that I worked with did provide some mentoring, but there were very different than me. In fact, there were few teachers that I could really relate to until my later years in the profession when I met teachers, younger than me, but much more like me. The teachers I worked with in my early career were mostly not married and did not have families. Many came from privileged backgrounds too. In some ways I was an anomaly to them, however, my differences were positive for our student body since I brought a new lens and as all teachers know, it's important to have many lenses with regard to a faculty so we can help each other meet the needs of our diverse students.
