I am having a hard time thinking about the Lindsay Clancy trial as my heart breaks for every single person involved in this horrible, deadly situation. Yet it's important for us as individuals and a collective culture to think about this case and how we might prevent such horrible murders in the future.
Several years ago, similar to the Clancy case, a woman from Boston jumped with her children or jumped alone and threw her children off a parking garage roof. They all died. I was heartbroken to read the story and did a little research about where the woman lived. She lived by a busy street in a place where it wasn't easy to get outside. In a sense, her home to me looked like a trap, and I thought that may have been part of the situation that led her to kill herself and her children.
Also, not unlike Lindsay Clancy, it appeared that the woman was a perfectionist. She had positive credentials at work and appeared to be a woman who wanted to live a good life. Yet, the pressures of life and mind got to her which led to her death and the death of her children.
When I read about Lindsay Clancy, I wondered about the following issues that cause stress in a young person's life, issues that included the quality of her relationship with her husband and greater family, the isolation factor related to her home and commute, perfectionism, the work-parenting-home balance stress, finances, and dreams for the future. Was Clancy and her husband the kind of people who wanted too much with regard to material wealth? Was Clancy wrestling with long term trauma and psychological problems that she had not addressed? Did Clancy have the support she needed to be a loving parent, good worker, and healthy person?
I also wondered about the people around Clancy? Did some stay quiet when they should have spoken up? Were there signs that people ignored? Were medical professionals too cavalier when it came to Clancy's case--did they dismiss the severity of her issues? Did they do their homework when it came to her care needs?
I don't know what the results of the trial will be. I ache for all involved. Those little children did not deserve to die--they deserved a good life. Clancy also deserved adequate care and support. This trial makes me realize the following:
- Stress can lead us down roads we don't want to travel, so when stress gets the best of you take a time out to regain your composure. If you can't calm down and get centered, be relentless about getting the psychological and medical care you need. Too often pride can get in the way of the help we need.
- Be careful about what you desire and why you desire that. No one needs a lot of fancy items to live a good life--simple lives that provide the time and resources you need to care for your basic needs and have some fun too is good enough.
- Be politically active and support leadership that helps people to live their best possible lives. The stress on caregivers including those who care for children, the elderly, and those with physical or psychological problems is over the top today--society needs to help out in this regard by providing optimal resources to help families, the elderly, and those with physical and psychological needs.
- Be thoughtful about where you choose to live--don't choose a home or apartment that traps you and makes life too difficult. Generally living in a safe area with good neighbors and a doable commute is better than living in a fancy, isolated location.
- If the stress on the job is too much for your life, get another job.
- If you absolutely can't care for the people you love well, get more help and take time off. That's better than doing something you regret.
