Hardship comes to us throughout life in many varying ways, and we all have to learn to deal with hardship. My first experience with hardship was when my brother ruined a little doll I received when I got my tonsils out. I was about five years old, and was very disappointed to learn that my doll had been ruined. That was a small, but memorable hardship. Later that year my grandfather, Papa, died--that was another hardship, one that saddened me, but one that I couldn't greatly grasp at that young age. So as you see, I didn't have what grave hardships such as losing a parent, a home, or great illness or injury at an early age--those are real hardships.
As life went on, and as I look back, the truth is that I didn't experience the kind of hardships that truly upset a home or life, but I did experience some major disappointments and struggles. As a teen, I struggled with my identity, belonging, and value. I wanted much of life to be different during those years. I worked a lot, and didn't fit into the popular images of what it meant to be a teenage girl. Fortunately I had good friends, a loving family, and success at school and work so my despair and longing related to the way I wished life would be was countered by a number of positive experiences.
Later struggle included too-much work, a desire for some changes in life, and a continued sense of not fitting in to the popular culture. In fact, that seems to be the major categories of discontent and challenge in my life up to now. Now, I don't have too much work and a great desire for change, and I seem to fit in more than in the past--my personality and pursuits are a good match for old age.
Now the struggles include losing loved ones and challenges experienced by friends and family. In many ways, this is an easier stage of life than the busy, busy years from birth to retirement, years when I always had a lot of responsibility.
As I think about hardship, so far, I have not experienced some of the grave hardship I know that friends and family have dealt with--the kind of hardship that truly changes your life and leaves you with a forever kind of sadness. For that I'm grateful. I look to those who have experienced great hardship for inspiration and strength when life's lesser struggles appear.
And as I think of hardship and struggle, I think about how to deal with it. First, if you live a value-driven life, your hardship won't be coupled with the kind of regret you would have if you lived selfishly without values. Then, it's important to nurture a loving group of friends and relatives so that you can help them when hardship strikes and you too can be comforted and supported. In life, we need one another, and it's vital to nurture loving friendships and family ties. Also, we have to acknowledge that hardship happens in life and our only choice is to deal with it in as positive as possible way. It's also good to create the kind of homes that can weather a hardship--a "home" as much in a spiritual way as a physical way.
A recent hardship that was caused by a broken relationship hurt me a lot. I did what I could to remedy the situation without much success, but I am at peace knowing that I reached out lovingly and made myself available in the situation. The rest right now is out of my hands--that happens sometimes.
I want to be compassionate to others as they face hardship too. I want to be there for them as hardship is not easy.
These are rough thoughts, thoughts that I'll likely revisit in time. Onward.
