Most of us need help in some areas of life as no one has it all, and no one is without any gifts or capacity. We all fall somewhere on the continuum of needs and capacity. I thought about this today as I thought about people I know who are facing greater need at this moment, and consequently areas of my life where I can do better--areas of some need at this time.
As I think of the needs/capacity continuum, a story related to a friend comes to mind. This friend always remarked about another friend's lack of ownership over her own health and fitness. The friend's friend was greatly compromised by her inability to move, and my friend couldn't understand why she didn't work at remedying the situation. My friend is a doer, and rarely lets a difficulty fester. Instead she's quick to tackle troubling challenges whereas her friend was big into denial--rather than deal with the issue, she simply ignored it. I suppose there's a happy medium to be had here since we can't fix all of our shortcomings, and if we spend all our time trying to be perfect, we'll likely lose out on areas of life that we truly enjoy. Yet, if we ignore our challenges and shortcomings, they're likely to become worse.
That led me to think about times that people came to me about my challenges. Each time I reacted differently. On a couple of occasions, I was quick to remedy the situation as people alerted me to shortcomings I was actually ignorant about--shortcomings that I didn't want to be part of my life, and once I learned about them, I was quick to make change. I was thankful for the courage those colleagues had to address my challenges. Then there are the shortcomings that are within my grasp, but buried within me--those are difficult to change, and good friends have tried to help. Some with success and some without success--it all depends on the approach. Aggressive approaches in these arenas don't work as well as approaches that are loving, enjoyable, and understanding.
Then as I think about shortcomings friends and loved ones display. Mostly they are aware of those shortcomings, and for some of those challenges there are solutions and for others there really aren't any solutions, but instead it's about living with the challenges in the best possible ways.
So as I think about the help you need and the help you give. I realize that this is a sensitive arena of life. As for the help I need--I want to be cognizant of my shortcomings and work to remedy or well-live with those that are not within my grasp, and as far as challenges that friends and relatives face. I want to be there for them should they seek me out, and I want to be there for them if it is a tough issue that's important to speak out about even if they don't seek me out.
None of us are perfect. We all face challenges in life. Sometimes we face greater challenges and sometimes less. Bottom line, it's best to help one another in ways that we can. Onward.
