Life pulls us in many, many directions. Sometimes we heed those calls and sometimes we don't. Also if we do heed life's calls, sometimes we may respond with great zest and at other times we may respond with less oomph. Whether we heed life's calls and how we heed those calls depends on many, many factors, factors I want to think about this morning.
A good life
Most, if not all of us, want a good life. How we define that good life will differ from person to person and over time as well. Often, the calls we attend to in life, have a lot to do with our desire to live a good life. Not unlike many, for me, a good life is a life that includes relationship warmth and care, as-good-as-possible health, adequate comfort, adventure, and contribution.
Relationship warmth and care
At this age, I am somewhat perplexed by relationships because I would like to stay close in responsible, warm, and caring ways with all whom I know and have known, but that's impossible given details of distance, time, and capacity. By the time you reach my age, you have closely known many, many people--more people than it's possible to maintain a very close relationship with. This becomes even more challenging when you begin to list life's constraints. It's a reality, I want to come to peace with, and a reality that has caused me some pain too.
So how do you reckon with this relationship reality. I believe our first obligation is to our immediate family--we have to take care of one another. Next our the close friends and family members that are in my life almost daily--these are the people that know me and my life well, and people that rely on me and that I rely on too. After that are the people that I have loved and cared about for a long time--people who I desire closeness too, but people who are somewhat distant now due to family obligations, health considerations, distance, and responsibilities related to their own immediate families, work, and other endeavors that they are entrenched in.
Relationships change over time, and that's a reality we can't deny.
Responsibilities
We all have responsibilities that we must attend to in order to keep life positive. Our responsibilities include our obligation to maintain our homes, salaries, positive relationships, health, and contribution. Meeting your responsibilities in life takes a considerable amount of time each day, week, and month.
The lives we create and lead
The lives we create and lead entail choice--we can't have it all so we choose some aspects of life while leaving other aspects of life behind.
For me, I want to maintain a connection to friends and family that I have long known and cared about. I know that our levels of intimacy have changed given life's pulls, but I don't want to lose friendships and connections overall. I want to seek ways to keep us connected even if the connections won't be as close or as frequent. Ways to do that include letter writing, lunch dates, day trips, and dinner parties.
With regard to my more intimate relationships, I want to focus on memory-making events as well as care and support for one another. I want to be there for my children, close relatives, and close friends in ways that provide needed support, comfort, and care.
I write often about what my life focus, a focus which essentially does not change and includes value-driven living, creating and maintaining a warm, welcoming home, positive relationships, contribution, and adventure.
Onward.
