If you tend to be a perfectionist, you may remember times in your life when you did all you could to prepare for a great time, and then at the last minute something goes wrong and you let that ruin the event in some ways rather than ignore the error or problem in your midst.
As I think about that experience, a few examples come to mind. There was the time when I planned a wonderful gingerbread house making event. I spent hours preparing all the ingredients of a creative, colorful afternoon, but when the guests arrived, one was not well and that illness upset the entire event. Looking back, I should have provided more comfort to the guest who was ill and then moved on with the event with positivity. Instead I let the guest's illness get in the way of caring for the others in my midst. That was a mistake.
Then there was a holiday when one guest was not at peace. Rather than ignoring the behavior and focusing on the positivity of the day, I let the troubling behavior take over. Years later a similar event occurred and I was able to deal with the troubling behavior and focus on a positive holiday celebration instead--that was good.
I'm thinking about that today as I have a number of very special events coming up in the months ahead, and it's likely that during those events there will be the inevitable surprising problems that can occur. I want to challenge myself to be able to put the imperfections aside during special events and focus on the overwhelming positivity that's likely to be the focus of the events.
Recently I was able to do that. I attended an event and there was a troubling situation that occurred. I was able to mostly move away from the trouble in mind/place and enjoy the positivity of the event. I focused on the event's joy instead. That was good.
Perfectionists like me sometimes get caught up in trying to make every event perfect rather than recognizing the truth of the matter which is that most events are usually a mix of good and not-so-good, and the aim should be to make the event as good as possible. For example, I had a dinner party recently. I really wanted it to be perfect. In the end, it was very good, but there were a few of those inevitable imperfections--efforts that I tried to make just right, but turned out not that good instead. That happens.
Perfectionism tires those around you out too as most people don't expect perfect. Most people just want events and experiences to be good enough.
How do we make events good enough?
- Make the time for good prep and planning.
- Engage those involved in the planning and prep efforts.
- Make time to think about the main idea or central focus of any event--do what you can to support and celebrate that focus.
- Don't focus on the imperfections; don't let the imperfections get in the way of the big idea and the positivity of the event.
