We all get angry sometimes, and it's important to get to the roots of that anger. I've written about this topic often since I burst with anger often in my younger days, and when that anger eventually reached a troubling crescendo, I had to deal with it more seriously. I hired a counselor, read many books, and reflected deeply about the roots of my anger. Once I clearly understood the roots, my anger dissipated for the most part. Now when I feel deep anger, I have better tools with which to understand that anger and deal with it.
As a teen and young adult, my anger arose when the world around me conflicted with what I needed or what I thought was important in life. At moments like that, I felt powerless and then angry. This anger often resulted in rage and fits.
As a new teacher, anger arose when I was overwhelmed or frustrated. The angriest moments I experienced as a teacher was when I didn't have what I needed to solve a problem, and that problem frustrated me to the point of anger. A better support network at school would have been helpful in this regard, and I wish I had signed on to counseling in those early teaching years since the job was a real challenge for a highly sensitive person like me. I wanted to do it all, and I could have used some help with prioritizing as well as the multiple social demands of school life.
As a young parent, my angriest times were times of frustration--times when I felt guilty that I didn't know what to do or how to do it. I wish I had the the wisdom to simply say to myself, "I've done my best; I'm at a loss right now, and the best thing I can do is to take a time out, relax, and then think about the next steps." These moments of frustration usually occurred when I realized I could have made a better choice related to my child's needs, when the children were endlessly arguing, and when I was simply exhausted.
Now my greatest moments of anger occur when our leaders act in ways that harm and hurt others. I want a world where people work to uplift each other, not a world where hate, prejudice, greed, ignorance, dishonesty, and harm trump all else. Our world holds tremendous potential for good and I desire leaders and others to work for that collective good.
Anger is a powerful emotion that signals a need for change--change in expectations, change in perspective, change in response or change in understanding. Our emotions are signals of what we need, what we cherish, and who we are, and it's good to take our emotions seriously to understand where those emotions are directing us.
