Recently I witnessed an authority hold a hard line. I wanted the authority to bend, but as I thought about the hard line, I realized that they were considering the safety of all involved rather than bending to the needs of one who could greatly upset that safety. I looked for other alternatives for the person at the center of this situation, and I'm hoping that in time, one of those alternative paths will serve the individual well while continuing to protect the safety of the community involved.
I also had to accept a hard line imposed on my own dreams and hopes for a loved one. I wanted the situation to be different. I did everything I could to change the situation from one that I defined as insufficient to one that would be sufficient. Change did happen and the situation changed from insufficient to sufficient in my opinion. While not exactly what I wished for, I had to accept the hard line with the knowledge that those choosing were supporting a vision they deemed more worthy than mine. I can't say that my vision is better in all ways because with both visions for care there's a lot of unknowns--it's an imperfect situation no matter how you look at it, and what's happening now may not be my choice, but it's not necessarily wrong or bad. I'm not in charge and what's happening now does not constitute a need for protest or change. So instead I'm doing what I can to be part of the solution rather than creating more challenge.
I created a hard line recently myself. It was difficult for me to create a hard line where no one had created a hard line before. I created the hard line for reasons related to safety and self respect in a situation where safety and self respect had been overlooked for decades and perhaps generations. Too often in society behavior is accepted that should not be accepted. Generally these kinds of behaviors target those that are vulnerable. The behaviors are often overlooked by those in power for all kinds of reason. I know that I'll pay a price for creating this hard line, but I can live with this price. I hope my hard line will help to create change with respect to the kind of behavior that's acceptable. In time, I'll see what response this hard line creates.
In some cases in my life, I wish there had been a few more hard lines or boundaries as some may define this. During my professional career, I faced a challenge, and I wish my leaders had the courage to discuss the challenge with me in an outright and productive way. In time, I did overcome the challenge, but I could have overcome the challenge much sooner if a few "hard lines" were posed with openness to help and support me as well. In one situation, an administrator did pose a "hard line" for me with respect to a small issue. I improved that situation in a matter of hours. That hard line worked.
As an educator, parents like me, often found it difficult to draw a hard line when it came to inappropriate behavior, but I learned in time, that reasonable hard lines teach children right from wrong. For example, "No hitting" was a hard line in school--if you hit, pushed, or slapped someone, there was a consequence as well as efforts to teach better conflict resolution skills. Learning a lesson like that early helps students to deal with conflict in better ways as they age and saves them from graver situations related to fights and other violent reactions to conflict.
Laws can be considered hard lines. Laws draw the line between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior. When people break laws, there should be a consequence, and when the hard lines laws draw are inhumane, too harsh, or out of line with current times, then it's time to change the laws. Good laws and good rules are hard lines that direct our individual and collective behavior in positive ways.
It's not easy to draw a hard line, but sometimes it's necessary. Hard lines need to be thoughtful, caring decisions, and if possible, the subject of conversations and efforts to improve the situation as well. Onward.
