In today's speak, the concept of boundaries is big. Therapists and other self-help professionals and individuals advise us to create good boundaries in order to foster best-possible relationships. For those who grew up with a pattern of boundary setting and allegiance, this process is probably quite easy, but for those who grew up in looser settings with fewer to no boundaries, this process may be more difficult.
What kind of boundaries do you want to create or acknowledge in your life? Why is this advantageous?
l remember the day I decided to create a boundary related to my husband's work. Up until that day long ago, I'd get involved in my husband's work situations via conversation and advice giving. Then one day I realized that this wasn't helping either of us--we had very different work styles and very busy lives at the time. By creating a boundary that put each of us in charge of our own work situations with little conversation or interaction related to that when we were home created a more positive work-life balance.
As I think of healthy boundaries in my life now, I think of the boundaries I've created that allow my adult children to live their own lives and to establish an adult-to-adult relationship with them. These are positive boundaries. I've also created boundaries with respect to the kinds of behaviors I'll accept--I won't accept behaviors that regularly use emotional abuse towards me--I won't accept patterns of profanity and degrading comments and actions. Self respect is important when it comes to boundaries. In environments that accept verbal or emotional abuse, it can be difficult to set such boundaries, but I'm committed to setting those boundaries.
Good boundaries are like good fences, they help people to get along, help one another, and establish positive relationships. When we don't create good boundaries, we put our emotional and physical health in jeopardy. I'll think more on this topic in the days to come. Onward.
