As a mom, teacher, daughter, relative, and friend, like most of us, there's a fair amount of caregiving included in my schedule. For the most part I like taking care of people, and I like this work especially when I have the energy, skill, and understanding to do a good job. When I'm tired or don't have what someone needs, caregiving is much more difficult. The emotions related to caregiving can get in the way too--sometimes when a person you love experiences struggle in any way, you simply feel bad, and you feel especially bad when you can't erase their struggle or fix the problem. That's frustrating and painful.
I hit one of those less energized, frustrating moments in caregiving recently which has motivated me to revisit my caregiving role.
Do what you can when you can
As much as possible do what you can when you can for those you love and care about. You won't always be able to give, but when you can--do it with as much heart and attention as you can.
Keeping a "care list" can help with this. For example, I'll be parting with one of my students soon. I want to give him a small gift to acknowledge his hard work and good attention throughout our tutoring sessions. I'll prep that gift soon so it's ready to go for our final day together.
Accept the fact that you may not have what another person needs
As I think of this fact, I'm thinking of friends who are experiencing tough challenges that I can't change. I can be a listener and confidant, but I can't solve the problems which are the kind of deep, complex problems people sometimes face in life. I can also offer a reprieve from life's challenges by way of the kind of fun time that makes you forget your struggles.
When you find that caregiving becomes a burden, take a break
A change of schedule, scenery, or routine can give you the break you need when caregiving tasks become too great and your perspective too negative. No one can be a positive caregiver when they are tired, crabby, or discouraged.
Today I'll make a few minutes to think about the people I care about, and what I might do to renew that care in thoughtful, loving ways. Onward.
