Some people are hurtful, and when I'm in the midst of these people, I'm not happy. I've been thinking a lot about what motivates these hurtful people and the hurt they promote. There are many layers of hurtful people. Some of the hurt is purposeful and some of the hurt is a byproduct of other emotions, experiences, and reactions.
Hurt as a byproduct of other emotions, experiences, and reactions
I was hurt by a behavior exhibited by a loved one recently. As I thought deeply about the hurt, I realized that the hurtful comments were a byproduct of the individual's desire to keep up. In a sense they were bothered by the craziness of a moment in time and in a sense their abrupt reaction was their need to come up for air to survive the crowded moment. For this individual, there needs to be less noise, less confusion, less busyness--calm, peaceful, quiet times lead this person to more peace and positivity. As I think more about this, I realize this is true for all of us. When we are our best selves, we are usually in a peaceful, positive place.
Hurt as vengeance
There are those in life who are vengeful, and their vengeance leads them to hurt others. Unlike some who have been harmed and turn their harm into helping others, vengeful people use their vengeance to harm others. It's best to stay clear of vengeful people like that.
Hurt as jealousy
Some people hurt others when they are jealous. They may hurt others when they are jealous of another person's wealth, position, good fortune, and more. Their hurt may take the form of hurtful language or actions. Instead, it's better to turn jealousy into positive action for your own life. Rather than be jealous of someone's good fortune, you can try to replicate that good fortune in your own life or simply enjoy that person's good fortune by sharing in good times with them.
Hurt as powerlessness
Some who feel powerless in their own lives may take that powerlessness out on others rather than working to build their personal power, positivity, and happiness.
Hurt due to long-held prejudices and mindsets
Some people hurt others because they have learned that those they hurt are not worthy of their respect, care, or positivity. For example, just recently in a community in our state, people hurt others by attacking them and insulting them simply because of the lifestyle those people live. Those who hurt those people were acting on learned hatred and prejudice. Many women have experienced hurt simply because there are those who believe they can prey upon women because they don't value women as full humans. We have to work against this kind of prejudice, hate, and harm in every way that we can.
Hurt due to dislike
For all kinds of reasons our initial reaction to someone may be dislike. We have to counter that reaction by working to understand people and then treating them with respect. We don't have to be best friends with people we naturally dislike, but we do have to treat people like this with respect and care, not hurt and harm.
People will hurt us, and we may hurt others knowingly or unknowingly. In the best of circumstances, we will always counter hurt with kindness, care, and love--we can't accept hurt, but we have to acknowledge that hurt happens and we have to find ways to deal with it in ways that don't hurt others. Onward.
