I'm still figuring out how to deal with an unexpected turn of events in my world. I simply didn't see this event coming and I'm trying to make sense of it. I want to deal with this unexpected outcome with as much positivity as possible.
What happened? I expected a series of events to travel a course familiar in ways that match my values and beliefs, but instead the event traveled a very different course--one that I simply didn't see coming and one contrary to my most central beliefs and values. I've looked deeply into the event's details, sought counseling, and researched the many tangents of this event, and confusion still reigns.
Many years ago I dealt with a similar event in a similar way. As I look back on the event, I can understand that event a little better. It was an unfortunate series of events--events I didn't expect and events I wasn't prepared for. Essentially I had trusted a group of people to act differently than they did in a tough situation. I trusted them to be more helpful, understanding, and kind in that trying situation, but they really never had earned my trust. My trust was naive. Though I made a wrong turn in the situation, I hoped they would have helped me rather than use that wrong turn to punish me and hurt me. I weathered the storm. I learned a lot, and though I made a poor choice mainly due to lack of experience/knowledge, I've moved ahead with greater wisdom from that event.
How can I apply that wisdom to this event?
First, it's important to always act with grace, kindness, and care. Raising your voice, poor language choices, unfounded blame, and not making the time to see situations from the viewpoints of others sets us up for struggle. I want to be as kind and caring as I can be.
Self respect is critical. When we allow people to treat us with unkindness, dishonesty, and harm in any way we hurt ourselves and others. We must retain self respect and care in every situation. If not, uncaring people will run all over us and hurt us. Sadly some people are okay with hurting and harming others.
You can't solve all problems. After giving a problem your best energy and effort, you may have to walk away and let others step in to solve the problem. Or sometimes, after walking away for a while, you may be able to reenter the situation and be part of the solution.
Realize that we all see life from different vantage points--we can only act with the best of whom we are with an open mind to learning more and improving as we can.
Don't let perfect get in the way of good--seeking perfection can sometimes harm a situation whereas accepting and contributing to the good possible can support a situation in positive ways.
Onward.
