My dad has faced the challenge of Alzheimer's for many years now, and as he faces this challenge, I've faced the challenge of how to support him. My dad would never have chosen this path for the last chapter of his life. He rightly prided himself for his intelligence, thoughtfulness, and awareness; and now confusion often reigns as he is relegated to the leadership of those around him rather than his own choosing. It won't be surprising if I face the same final chapter as there's a genetic line in my family that faces Alzheimer's in almost exactly the same way. The good news is that the disease does not strike until the ninth decade of life, but when it strikes, it's not easy.
When dad first started showing signs of the disease, the attention was on my mom who was dealing with an array of illnesses. Dad's early stage Alzheimer's did not get in the way for the most part when it came to his daily devotion to Mom. During those years which happened to be the COVID years, Dad did all he could to make mom comfortable and happy. He also golfed during those years which brought him a good reprieve and happiness. I spent a considerable amount of time with Mom and Dad during those years. Then when Mom passed, Dad was sad, but ready to adventure a bit outside of the home. During that time we took many walks and rides to beautiful locales near his home. We also shared in many lunch and dinner dates. Dad was good company and I was happy to be able to provide him with companionship
Now almost three years after Mom's death, Dad is unable to adventure as he did before. He is able to walk less and is seemingly more comfortable in someone's home than a restaurant. Yet, he still enjoys visiting beautiful natural settings and spending time with family members. He has a team of caregivers providing him care now including a weekend schedule of care at home or at his children's homes. I look forward to my weekends with Dad. During those weekends I make good foods, invite family members to join us, and plan small adventures with dad and my husband, Mike. We also watch some good old movies like My Fair Lady and The Sound of Music.
It's been difficult coordinating care amongst five siblings, all of whom have somewhat different end-of-life philosophies about care, but on the upside, the truth is that all of Dad's children want the best for him--everyone contributes to his care as they are able, and that's positive. Alzheimer's is a tough and not uncommon disease. I'm contributing to a research group in hopes that they find a cure before I reach 90, but in the meantime, I'll do my best by dad and I'll offer support to others who are dealing with such a tough illness. Onward.
