Not long ago, an individual within my sphere passed away. It was a cruel death, one I would not wish on anyone. This individual had been an enemy to me in a surprising and challenging way. He caused me a lot of grief in a manner that didn't have to happen. It's true that I owned much of the situation, however my actions were never intended to hurt or harm anyone, but instead to champion young children. Could I have gone about the situation differently? In hindsight, definitely yes, but at the time I truly didn't know where to turn as the event this man punished me for was one of a series of oppressive, challenging events that occurred during my teaching career. I weathered the storm, and afterwards reached out to the man and woman at the root of the situation to discuss what happened--I wanted to understand the details so I could move ahead and not repeat the actions at the center of the problem. The man and his fellow accuser did not want to meet or discuss the situation. Then sadly the man became very ill with an unfortunate disease. Again, I wouldn't wish that hardship on anyone. This man had a worthy record in many of life's arenas, and for the most part, he was well liked and revered by many, many people--that's what made his treatment of me so surprising and unexpected.
I thought long and hard about what to do in light of his illness. I reached out to him with a kind letter expressing my confusion and hurt with regard to the painful episode he initiated with regard to me and also to the many strong and positive events in his life. I wished him well and hoped for a speedy recovery. I had mostly moved past the pain, disappointment, and confusion with regard to the challenging situation. Sadly this man did die. I'm glad I wrote the letter. I wish we could have spoken about the incident, but I was happy to say my peace, own my part in the situation, and wish him well before he departed. I can say I never learned of all the details with regard to the situation. I don't know who was really involved or how. I've moved ahead.
I write about this today as I watch the news and consider the outpouring of emotion, actions, and works related to Charlie Kirk's death. Clearly the words and actions he used inspired as well as hurt and endangered many. While he spoke to some, he put others in grave danger and dismay. His death finds some greatly saddened and others relieved. He was clearly a controversial individual.
The President and his cronies are punishing those who are speaking out against the words and actions of Kirk--they are denying free speech in this regard. For many, Kirk's words incited greater bigotry, misogyny, classism, and lack of safety. For others, he provided a home for their ideology--the way they want the world. People are grappling with what Kirk's death means with regard to safety, the emotions/actions his words incited, and how his friends and foes are dealing with this death.
It makes me think about how we deal with the deaths of those who make life difficult for us--what do we do, what do we say? People who have made life difficult for me have died, and fortunately I can say that I reached out to each of them prior to their deaths to strive for peace. I spoke my truth without blame or judgement with those individuals and I am glad of that. I don't like problems to fester. Instead I attempt to find a peaceful resolve. Often my letters were not received with any solution from those who I wrote to, but I opened the door to peace and I was always ready to own my part of the situation with truth and empathy for self and others, and a will for resolution. I can't make people act differently, but I am happy that I tried.
With regard to Kirk's death. His assassination was wrong, and while many disagreed with his viewpoints, there are peaceful ways to deal with disagreement.
As far as who killed Kirk and how that is being dealt with. The truth is that one angry young man with sharpshooter skills killed Kirk. We have read the words he wrote about his anger with regard to Kirk's messaging and we have heard lots of stories related to the young man's life choices, personality, family life, and school life, but we don't have an overall picture yet of who this young man was, what influenced his decision to murder Kirk, and if others were involved. In time, we will likely learn more facts.
The lessons for me in all of this include the following:
- We must peacefully and lawfully deal with disagreement and hurt.
- Freedom of speech remains a top priority, but with all freedoms comes the responsibility to act wisely, thoughtfully, peacefully, and with humanity.
