It may sound cold to think of relationships in terms of a budget, but I'm using that lens today. I try to budget my income so that I am responsible and have a little fun too. I want to do the same with my relationships. Responsibly, I want to make sure that I'm doing my part in the relationships I value--relationships I'm grateful for. I also want to make sure that the relationships I enjoy are not all work, but include some good times and play too.
So as I budget time and energy for relationships, what does that mean?
Know my friends and family
It's important to take time to know who your friends and family are. What do they enjoy? What do they want? What do they need? How can you be a good friend and family member?
Be kind and help out
Good relationships thrive with loving kindness and helping each other out. How can I be loving and helpful to and with those I love and care about.
Space to branch out, grow, and live good lives
Just as each of us profits from good time and space to grow, branch out, and live good lives, the same is true for our loved ones. No one wants to be suffocated by too much togetherness and connection - for every relationship, there's a just right amount of space, time, and closeness.
Reciprocity
Relationships require reciprocity. In truth, it's not always possible for friends and family members to be reciprocal given that life hands people all kinds of time-consuming, energy-zapping, cost-heavy challenges, but in general friends and family members should aim to nurture reciprocal relationships where everyone does their fair share of staying close and taking care of one another.
Honesty
Nothing hurts relationships more than lies. It's best to be kindly honest in all circumstances.
No unhealthy jealousy or comparison
People will live different kinds of lives with different strengths and challenges. It's never absolutely equal, and it's likely that jealousy and comparison will strike now and then. I always say, When you play the compare game, no one wins. In truth, if you embrace the gifts of others in positive ways, you broaden your own life. For example, say you have never had much experience in boats, and a good friend is an avid boater with access to boats. Rather than be jealous, celebrate the difference and broaden your experience by getting the chance to boat with them. Celebrate your own gifts; strive for gifts you desire, and celebrate the gifts of others. No one is or has all things, so share the gifts you have and be open to sharing and celebrating the gifts that others enjoy.
You won't be friends with everyone
Even if you greatly desire to be friends with all, that's unlikely to happen. You simply won't be friends with everyone for all kinds of reasons great and small. Celebrate and enjoy the friendships you have, and don't worry about the ones you don't have. If you don't have enough good friends, reach out and get involved in activities you enjoy as that's the best way to make good friends.
Make good time for friends
Make sure that you make time for the people you care about.
A good relationship budget just like a good income budget helps you to have a healthy relationship experience. Onward.
