I have mixed feelings about what people define as gossip. On one hand, to share information about another person can be dangerous to a person's welfare and reputation. On the other hand, to understand people in a deep and broad sense is to be able to connect with those people in a more satisfying way. Recently in a conversation about a personal matter, I shared information with a friend. I wanted to understand the personal matter with greater depth and I thought my friend might be able to shed light on the matter. My friend did offer some good insight, but then went on to distance herself from me. This is a friend that does not entertain "gossip" which, for the most part, I believe is a good practice, but this also a friend who may bury her head in the sand a bit when it comes to issues of respect, inclusion, and strong relationships--she doesn't want to be involved.
I don't think this is necessarily good or bad. This friend is a good person who does a whole lot of good for the world--the time she spends not entertaining gossip of any kind is time spent in hands-on contribution to the world around her which is awesome. On the other hand, sometimes negating "gossip" that relates to questioning, desire for understanding, or an interest in growing relationships, policies, and organizations in positive ways can stall the good possible. Sometimes when teaching, teacher cowered from tough conversations about issues in the schoolhouse since they didn't want to get involved and they wanted to be seen in a positive light by some who may have been forwarding less than humane or positive policies in the schoolhouse. Sure, their desire not to be involved resulted in dedication to their primary duties as educators, but their desire not to get involved also sometimes meant that discriminatory actions continued.
Jumping to the Epstein files, look at how many people turned a blind eye to the abuse that was going on with regard to young girls--an amazingly large number of people just accepted that abuse and did not report it, and even when some reported the abuse, others including lawmakers ignored the reports. This does surprise me as I was a teen at a time when derogatory talk about girls and women and treatment to women was often accepted in schools, the work place, and in homes. The movie highlights the way abuse was accepted by many when reported in the church, and the same was true about abuse towards women in many situations.
So, sure we all have to be careful about the information we share, but we also have to share information that relates to human dignity and a need for change. Staying silent in the face of abuse does not one any good and simply makes problems grow in hurtful, wasteful, troubling ways. Onward.
