Most of us look forward to caring for our loved ones in ways that matter, but sometimes we can lose sight of what our loved ones need. This is especially true if we don't stop now and then to take stock of how people and times change. For example, a relative or friend who enjoyed your company daily may have moved into new relationships or endeavors making a once a week or month visit better than the daily connections of the past. On the other hand, a loved one who talked to you once a month in the past may desire more frequent connection now.
How do you determine what your loved ones need and how do you change your schedule to accommodate that? Also how do you balance the needs of all those you love and your own needs too? I'm thinking about these questions today.
When my children were young, I always asked the question, What do you need, want, and desire? That helped me to focus on immediate needs and long-range needs and desires. Now as I think about my loved ones, the spirit of that question still exists, but to ask that question outright can be intrusive especially when those you love are branching out into their own lives and endeavors.
As I think about caring for loved ones, these categories come to mind:
Communication
It's good to stay in touch with those you love. When too much time gets in the way, it's less likely that you will be able to care for your loved ones in timely, positive ways. In today's world, it's important to think about the best ways and frequency with which to communicate with loved ones. Do they prefer phone calls, texts, emails and/or in-person contact? Do they prefer once-a-week, daily, or less frequent connections. What time of day is best for connecting? These are all questions to consider.
Shared time and events
What do you and your loved ones like to do when you get together? Finding activities that you all enjoy is a great way to care for one another and stay in touch too. Is it a day at the beach, a hike, a museum visit, a dinner out, or playing games? There's limitless kinds of activities that bring people together and finding the right match leads to good care.
Following-up and sensitivity
Knowing where your loved ones are at and what they are facing in life helps you to care well for them. For example, if a loved one is experiencing an illness, sending a card, making a meal, and/or visiting may be the best way to show that you care. Knowing what your loved ones desire in life, and finding ways to help out or simply listen to their stories about triumphs and tribulations can equate to good care.
Establishing patterns of care
Making care a regular part of your routine ensures that you make the time and save the resources you need to care for loved ones. If you have a regular routine of care, care becomes a mainstay. Of course, that routine has to be revisited and redefined regularly to ensure that it matches your needs and the needs of your loved ones too.
Caring for loved ones as well as caring for self creates strong, positive relationships. This kind of care requires regular updating and reflection to keep it strong and pointed. Onward.
