When life is tough, people often run from you; and when life is sweet, people are often attracted to you. That's human nature.
At first when struggles occur, people often stay close trying to help, but if the situation is beyond what they can do, understand, or handle, that's when they move away from the situation. More human nature.
So when you are wrapped up in a difficult situation, you have to find your center and bring some organization and peace to the situation or else you'll crumble. How can you do that?
First, assess the situation with your priorities, values, and a dose of reality. Think about what's happening; what you desire, and realistically what's possible. For example, I'm dealing with a loved one with late stage Alzheimer's. What I desire is to have that person I have known all my life back as he has always been; but that's not realistic since Alzheimer's, particularly at the later stages, robs a person of their original selves and takes them into another dimension, a dimension that doesn't fit neatly into the world we live in.
So that's why I have to coach myself to remake my desire and rather than want my loved one back as he always was, I now want my loved one to experience warmth, care, and comfort at this late stage of the disease. I also want to find the balance between care for my loved one with Alzheimer's, care for my other loved ones, and self-care too. That's a difficult balance particularly at junctures of change and decision making.
Tough situations can rob you of energy, positivity, and direction. That's expected, but you can't let tough situations alter your direction in dangerous or destructive ways--you have to find the peace and positive direction possible beginning with these steps.
Lower expectations in some areas of life
When you are going through a tough situation, you have to prioritize and you have to lower your expectations in some areas of life. A simple example might be the fact that I usually make homemade desserts, but right now, in the midst of this complex, troubling situation, I'll buy dessert for my family members who are visiting instead. That buys me time and capacity which is good.
Keep your most important priorities up front
Don't let the troubling situation rob you of what's most important in life. For example, my relationships with my intimate family members and friends are a high priority to me. I don't want to damage those relationships so I have to keep that in mind as I deal with the stress of this situation. My priorities of good relationships, a warm welcoming home, positivity, and love are first and foremost no matter what is going on.
Give yourself a reprieve
Plan something even if it is for a short time that brings you joy and comfort. I've been playing a lot of online Scrabble--it's a pastime that totally relaxes me. That helps.
Make healthy choices
Unhealthy choices with respect to foods, drinks, and activities only exasperates a tough situation--commit to healthy choices to mitigate the struggle.
Don't overburden others
There's a temptation to spread the struggle out in ways that burden others--don't do that. Everyone has their struggles, and they don't need your's.
Make a loose-tight plan to guide you
Even though the plan might change, make a loose-tight plan to guide your actions as you move ahead. The plan will keep you on course, and when it stops working, make time to modify and adapt the plan.
Struggles happen in life, and when they happen there's often no easy solution. You have to take the struggle one step at a time. In the end, if you have a positive attitude, you'll find you learn a lot and that will make you a better person. Stay the course. Onward.
