Creating the right parameters

 Situations go well when the parameters are just right or at least close to right, but when the parameters are off kilter, situations usually fail. I thought about this today as I considered a situation that evades right parameters, a situation that occurs again and again, but the parameters simply don't work. How do I redefine the parameters in ways that work?

First, I have to identify what's not working. Generally in this situation there's little support, a lot of expectation, and little common interest or goals. In many ways the situation is a mismatch for me in multiple ways. And when a situation is a mismatch, you have to think even more deeply about what's happening and where the parameters are not a fit. 

What upsets this situation time and again?

• untruths and lies of ommision
• competition
• lack of reciprocity
• oppressive expectations
• hurtful, subtle insults

What works for this situation?

• some common goals
• shared history, both positive and not so positive
• spirited creativity and endeavor at times

As I consider these factors, I also wonder how I may have propagated these parameters. I think I have not been clear enough about what works and what doesn't work. I've let too much go and letting things go has only contributed to a rise in these unhelpful and hurtful parameters. 

As the days move ahead, I want to take a step back to consider the struggle this situation has created. I don't want to take the oppression anymore, but instead seek peaceful and positive endeavor in this arena. I don't want to let the subtle insults and put-downs continue, but instead I want to speak up about that when it happens in a positive, proactive way. 

Right now life is complicated. I want to take a break from alll the busyness to spend time in my garden, my family, and in peaceful places. Onward.