When I read biographies, I'm always interested in what drives an individual--the influences that greatly affect a person's actions, choices, priorities and more. I'm also interested in how geography, history, culture, and religion affect a person's life.
When reading the autobiography of two similar-age men recently, I found that their own fathers greatly influenced who they became. In one situation, the father was somewhat absent from the home, and in the other situation, though the father wasn't present that often due to work responsibilities, his influence was positively impactful by way of promoting curiosity. In both biographies the mothers were rarely discussed, but greatly loved.
What we do does impact those we live with including our children--reading life stories helps us to decide who we hope to be for our children as what we do and who we are does affect who they become as evidenced in the two stories I'm referring to.
Culture and religion also affect who we become. In one of these men's stories, the culture and religion of his family provided a formidable structure for his life. His family was very close to the Catholic Church and the church dictated many of the family practices, education, beliefs, and decisions. In the other situation, while the Catholic Church played a role--the role was not as significant. In that home, education seemed to trump religion as a guiding light.
In both situations, schools played prominent roles for these men as young men. The influence of teachers impacted who they became, what they knew, and how they experienced life for better or worse. Both men had strong intellectual gifts and that also greatly impacted their opportunity in life since their ability to do well in school and tests brought them positive opportunity in life. Siblings also played a positive role in the lives of these men as their siblings helped them achieve and gain opportunity in a number of ways. In both men's lives there was a positive attitude and value towards establishing strong family ties and support.
Both men were affected by World War II. Both men were fortunate to survive since they both faced harrowing experiences during the war, and for both men the war offered them opportunity for solidarity, education, and opportunity. I believe the war also impacted the good values both men had and used throughout their lives.
Changing cultural patterns affected one man more than the others. One man's choice to become a doctor and later an immigrant to the USA in some ways sheltered him from the changing values in American society, while the other man's life was seemingly more affected by culture since his job as a police officer put him at the center of cultural change, and his very close affiliation with the changing Catholic Church also must have affected him.
So as I consider these lives, I'm struck with a number of questions and thoughts:
- How do we best deal with change in culture with respect to our values and how we live our lives? In one case, one man stayed very present and active all throughout the change while the other found refuge in nature and more solitary endeavor on a regular basis while still being present in his career path and family life.
- One continued to be closely knit with a very large family while the other due to immigration found himself to be without a large extended family. Both men had very close relationships with friends and colleagues.
- Both men had strong marriages and they valued that. How do we sustain the kinds of ties that bring our lives strength?
- Both men rose up from very humble childhoods--they were appreciative of that, and in many ways, that laid a foundation for strong values and good priorities as they aged.
