Angry individuals may lack self respect. Angry individuals may not be comfortable in their own skin and may need greater support, confidence, and the ability to nurture who they are and what they want to be. It's possible that angry individuals may never have had the opportunity to truly accept, respect, nurture, enjoy, and develop their true selves. In fact, it could be true that these angry individuals didn't have the opportunity to hone the skills they need to be the positive, healthy, good people possible.
As I think about this topic, I am thinking about times when I've been angry and times when I've experienced angry people. Once I worked with an angry woman. Her anger didn't surface that often, but when it did, it was harsh. As I learned more about this woman, it was clear that her anger came from the way she was sometimes treated in society--she was a very, very bright individual who didn't present in ways that society deemed acceptable, likable, or valuable in society at the time. She faced constant prejudice and hurt related to this, and that prejudice and hurt translated to anger now and then. As I think an about this, I realize how important it is for society to develop wide parameters of acceptance since good people represent so many varying traits, interests, and needs.
Another angry person I've known was a person who was rarely to never allowed to be who he deeply was--the acceptable norms in his world in many ways were not a match for this person's natural self. This set up an early conflict that grew over time. Imagine living in a world that rarely to never recognizes who you are with respect to your talents, interests, needs, questions, and desires. That would make anyone angry.
When we are angry, it's time to do some soul searching to figure out where that anger is coming from and what we need to do. Long ago, I remember a friend yelling at me because the way I was presenting was an affront to her needs. Her outburst hurt my feelings, but I realized that my natural ways were an affront to her natural needs in the situation. I didn't intend to suffocate her, and when she yelled at me, that woke me up to her needs--natural, positive needs that clearly match who she is, needs different from my needs as an individual.
We can help others and ourselves to build greater self respect by demonstrating genuine interest and regard for who people are and what they need. We can build our ability to be respectful and attuned to people's interests, needs, and desires. We can affirm who people are and show gratitude for their individuality in genuine, positive ways when given that opportunity.
Self respect is a key ingredient to living a good life. Onward.
