I hate to see people suffer. I don't like to suffer myself. But, no matter how much I hate suffering, that doesn't take suffering away. Suffering exists, and we have no choice but to deal with it when it happens to us or those we love.
My initial reaction to suffering is that I want to fix it and make it better. That's too often an insufferable reaction to suffering because suffering is not easily fixed. So how do you respond to suffering for yourself and others--what can you do?
Recently I suffered the loss of a few valuable relationships--I was hurt by the loss of these lifelong relationships. An acquaintance added me to her prayer box during this time, and that helped. Just knowing I was in this woman's prayer routine every day let me know that someone cared. I also did all I could to understand and potentially restore the relationships. The actions were positive, and although there wasn't an instant change, there were some small, positive changes. I've learned to be patient in this situation.
Patience is a key concept when it comes to suffering. A loved one of mine is suffering now from a disease that's potentially deadly. I've sent letters to my loved one and offered my support. My loved one has not wanted my assistance yet, so I have to be patient. His road is not my road--we have to let people live their lives, and if they don't want our help, we can pray for them, be present, and be patient with the hopes that something or someone else will help them.
Once I had a loved one who was suffering greatly. I didn't have what that person needed. Then that loved one met a person who brought such peace and joy into his life. I was overjoyed to witness this event--it made a tough situation so much better and so much happier.
When we suffer, we do need to reach out to find the best supports. Long ago, when one of my children faced a struggle, we tried many avenues to remedy the situation. After lots of research and outreach, we did find some great avenues of support and help which made the situation so much better.
Like most people, I want the best for everyone and myself. The "best" is always a moving target as people and circumstances are always changing. I remember my dad telling me about a challenge and suffering he faced once. He told me that when the tough event occurred, he had no idea or experience related to that kind of problem--he didn't even know it could happen. His words sensitized me to the fact that suffering and challenges have many, various dimensions. Onward.
