There are times when your values and traditions will be challenged. This may happen on a personal level or a more general, wide-reaching manner. For example, a major news story right now focuses on an admiral who refused to follow the orders of his superior because those orders were contrary to his oath of office to abide by the United States Constitution. The Admiral did the right thing, but did pay a personal cost since he had to resign in order to stand with his values. When we stand up for our values, we send a message that our values are important. When we stand up for our values, we give others the courage to do the same.
Times when I caved and gave up on my values somewhat were times that I would have profited from the support of a courageous, outspoken, righteous individual who helped me to do the right thing. On the few times this happened in my life, I simply didn't have the courage, insight, or understanding to fully follow my values. On one occasion, my aim was value-full, but my delivery was not. On another occasion, I was simply too naive to do the right thing--I chose wrong based on ignorance rather than a will to not follow my values. For the most part, thanks to having idealistic, value-driven parents, I usually sided with my values even if it was a difficult decision and action to make.
As I've written about many times, to be able to follow your values, you have to understand your values well. Also, when your values are challenged, you need to reflect on those challenges as sometimes a challenge to your values is actually a sign that you have to update your values in some way.
This holiday season has challenged my values and traditions in some small ways. I'm thinking about how I'll respond to that.
First, some long held traditions have been challenged by people's changing lives, ages, abilities, unexpected events, and desires. Traditions that I experienced as joyful throughout life are not receiving the same support that they did in the past. That leaves me with the question as to why the events are less supported and how I will react to this. In general, I like to support traditional events as I believe those events help to keep a shared culture strong and loving. I find that the younger people are more eager to keep the traditions alive than the older people, and I believe that's because the younger people are forming their cultural patterns while the older people may be a bit tired out and desiring new and different traditions for their somewhat limited time and energy.
It's difficult to keep a tradition going when support and enthusiasm wanes. That reality leaves one wondering whether it's worth carrying on the tradition or not. I'll be thinking about that with regard to the traditions that are challenged, and in the meantime, I'll do what I can to carry on the tradition this year with warmth, care, and aim to continue a spirit of family warmth, history, and care for one another.
As I think about traditions old and new going forward, I want to keep the values that drive traditions alive. These values include family/friend warmth, family/friend support, family/friend honesty, and family/friend shared investment in positive, life-enriching efforts.
The values I hope to strengthen and carry on include these:
- Support for people's individual, life-enriching choices. The people I know and love are moving out in multiple differing positive directions. I want to support those choices and directions as I can.
- Support for long-held traditions that are warmly embraced and supported by others, and the ability to retire or revise traditions that no longer work.
- Do my part with positivity.
